first timer?! not quite... (go back »)

first entry,huh?! what an honor... i think...??

ever had a moment when you felt that you wanted something more? or maybe not more, just... different,new...? not just the everyday new thing... something big, a drastic change maybe... ever had that?

i guess every once in a while, everyone has that... otherwise,  what's the point in a making a change,right? when things get a little too comfortable, it is but human nature to desire for something different, something that would compel us and amaze us... we need to be shocked once in a while,i guess... it's a natural reflex for us, a need, a prerequisite for "living"...

don't get me wrong... i'm completely happy and content with how my life is... but sometimes, there's this silent urge within me, and within all of us for that matter, telling us that we deserve something more... something more than we have grown used and accustomed to.. it's not a selfish need... it's not an ungrateful soul, is not even a sinful thought... it's a natural need... a basis for survival... change... even in loving...

gone were those moments when a single touch of his shoulder to yours sends up shiver to your spine... and your succeeding kisses were nothing compared to your very first... well, mine wasn't pre-ordained or planned,though... it was more of a surprise on my part... and considering that i didn't kiss back...

i mean, being with your boyfriend for a little less than two years... people do have those "dry" moments,right? it's when everything seems so pointless... so monotonous, so dragging... and it makes you wonder if those hours,days,weeks,months or years are worth the trouble... or if the relationship was simply a waste of time... or if it would have been wise to spend those times differently...

gone were those moments when you were so sure that this was what was right for you... or so you think... was it just a sudden lapse of reason? was it a selfish and sudden spur of a moment thing? or was it meant to last? was it the best and most worthwhile thing you've ever done in your entire life? what was it all? delusional reality? untimely illusion? unreasonable ambition?

none of the above. it's the real thing... it's human... and even if there is this desire for change, difference, or even omission at times, it will never beat the fact that loving IS living... and loving that single person, may bore yourcarnal nature to the core, but it will forever keep your heart as warm... and even if it feels a little too dry at times, it will always find a way of surprising you...

love will... (24)